4/26/09
in mt previous jounrnal i rambled on and on about finding out who you really are, and i think i finally may have found out who i am. i am bekah- the hypocrite. i preach happiness to the majority of my friends and how they should look at life in a positive way, even when life truely sucks butt with a coffee stirer. i say to them not to let those around you bring you down, you should be happy. no matter if it is in a relationship that most of your friends hate or the fly ass shoes you bought that you totally love but others think they are the ugliest object on the planet. but anyway i am the hypocrite and the mean one of me lovely little goup of friends. that is if i truely gave friends considering im such a crappy friend. my own best friend doubts me. im not sure if anyone knows what that feels like, but its kinda like losing the one thing that you cherish most in life. it dissapointment in yourself times a million, betrayal in that fact you werent good enough to keep your friend knowing you truely do care about them, so its a betrayal in yourself. and no matter how far in denial you may be or at least think you are, you cant escape that feeling of failure. so just a lil advice dnt be the bekah in your group of friends. good night all and plesant dreams

Xx-crow-xX